Something has been bothering me ever since I got back from the three day weekend. I went home, of course. I absolutely had a blast back home. My mom even said "That's what you get for taking advantage of your long weekend and didn't do any school related things," when I called her Monday night and saying I was going to pull an all-nighter. Gotta love my mommy! =)
It was my dad's basketball game. Yes, I tell people that I didn't leave because he was hot-headed after losing the game but...it's something more personal to me. No one will understand the situation until I tell them about the hardships we went through as a family. My writing practicum teacher said that a story doesn't become interesting to read until it gets personal on some level. So here goes:
My dad was the healthiest guy I knew while I was growing up. When my mom was in labor with me, my dad was just finishing off his basketball game in Taif, Saudi Arabia. Yes, he played for the professional team over there. He had perfect teeth and never had a cavity in his life! He was also the best tennis player to me! I remember him being so happy when my brother and I were able to play with him. It was bliss!
Summer of 2006, my dad was diagnosed with Nonarteritic Anterior Ischemic Optic Neuropathy (NAION). What in the world is that, right? In non-medical terms, it is a stroke of the nerve in my dad's right eye. The most common effect of it is vision loss. It can happen anytime even from just waking up one morning. My dad opened his eyes one day and saw a shadow obscuring majority of his right eye sight. It's mind-boggling because he did not feel any pain. He was just....half blind! Six months later, his left eye does the same exact thing. There still is no clinically effective treatment that exists. Only trials of injections into the eye that's being done all over the country. We went to several medical appointments and only came home with disappointments.
It hurt me to see him whenever I came home from work because he'd be by himself in the living room; depressed. He was never like that...EVER! I took on his "role" in the family and took care of the errands he usually does. When everyone said that graduating high school was the beginning of adulthood, this wasn't what I expected at all.
We weren't the praying-together type of family ever since I left a Catholic school in 5th grade, but our church community suggested it back into our lives. We prayed as a family every morning and every night for the next year and a half. It was a hard way to start college, especially when my grandmother died four months after my dad's diagnosis.
After a year and a half, our prayers have been answered. No, my dad didn't get his sight back. He only retained 80% of the vision he had lost. Still better than nothing, right? No, I don't expect pity or anything. I grew as a person through this experience so thanks...but no thanks. He can no longer play tennis like he used to but he's better now, and is the captain of his basketball team. But going back and remembering all that my family and I have gone through during this...well, still chokes me up sometimes. Especially when people make remarks or joke around with my dad's condition.
So this leads me back to my dad's basketball game last Sunday afternoon. For some reason, I sat on the opposite side where the score table and players positioned themselves. My dad's team has been the "top dog" of the league and it seems like that the other teams are heated by this. Jealousy, pride, huge ego, testosterone, and whatever you can think of floods what once use to be the reason for Filipinos to get together. The game turned into something personal. Favoritism of some sort! Ugh!
Anyway, as my dad subbed in for another player in his team. I heard everyone making fun of how "veteran" he was. Mocking him! I tried to let it go because they are guys and they do that all the time. But this Mike guy, from the black team, at the score table says, "He can't see the players because he has no contacts on!" Everything inside me blew up! I clenched my fist. Heat took over my body. And I stared him down like the devil. We made eye contact while he was laughing his a$$ off and all of a sudden...he was silent once he realized who I was. I wanted so bad to get up and cuss him off! >=[
My dad's team, green, lost the game within the last few seconds and there was a controversy of some sort. My dad blew it as the other team celebrated their win. It was ridiculous! They treated my dad like one of them! I got to the point where I had to step in between them and pull my dad away. It's natural....taking care of him when I can, and if someone does any harm to him, I'm sure I will take a punch to their nose.
It was hard to go back to school because that meant I had to leave him...in that pool of testosterone and pride. I stayed until things cooled off but I HAD to go. It's been bothering me ever since! He has another game this weekend and it's against the black team! AHHH!
I have all this hatred in my heart. I can't sit still whenever I think about it. I just want to be at ease and forgive these people for their ignorance, but I either don't WANT to or don't know HOW to.
*SIGH*
Well this entry is long enough...so I'll end it here.
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