A modest proposal

Dear heart,

Can you do me a favor and suppress your nonsense? I know you're smart but there's no reason to make the rest of my body feel smaller than it already is. I feel that right now when I listen to you, I make a complete fool of myself. I don't function well when you start taking over me.

Yes, I know that I am attracted to him even though I barely know him. I blame that on you! It sucks to be so attached. Shouldn't have invited me to shop or shouldn't have danced with me! Total weaknesses, damnitt! *sigh*

I will try to be a smart person and listen to my friends' advice. I am thinking about it too much and I am being forward so that will need to change. I wouldn't be fair to myself or the other person if I get into anything right now since I won't ever have time for a relationship. Unfortunately, school is my committed relationship right now.

And even if it does work out, it probably won't last too long. Clarke is my life for the next two and a half years...I'm just asking for a broken heart waiting to happen right now. I can't afford to have that happen again. I don't want to add that in my "heartache list."

Blah! Here I am, thinking too much once again! So I'm just going to stop right now....

So, I would appreciate it if you stayed put behind those walls until I tell you otherwise. As of now, all I can really do is be patient and fight the urge to listen to you. Maybe I can start by deleting the urge from my phone. Hopefully, it will motivate me to stop thinking about it.

Now that I've explained myself to you, I hope you understand my situation at the moment. Thank you, my dearest heart!

Love Always,
Me