What are YOU waiting for?

ANTIOCH- currently my favorite part of the semester!

I had my doubts of going to this retreat. I was 50/50 on my decision because I had so much stuff to do for school and at the same time...I was longing for something else. I didn't know what that was until I got there and shared my stories with my group. Some say that it's easier to share your feelings and stories with a stranger rather than someone you know because that fear of judgement won't be there. 'Tis is true!

I opened up to my group, the "Tick Tock Antiochers." They might not remember half of what I said but at least I know that I can share that kind of information to people now. You can say that the Antioch retreat popped that protective bubble around me and made it more comfortable for me to be....ME!

I absolutely loved the people I met there. And the people I already knew, I'm glad to be closer to them at a different level in my life. Who knew that I would enjoy myself without all the daily things I use in my life? I had no cellphone to text anyone, no laptop or ipod to use on my spare time, and no knowledge of the current time. I was in God's time and I loved every part of it! It not only opened my eyes about the "ways" in my life but it strengthened my faith in so many levels. It was such a great tool for my current transition in life....sigh.

I was also thinking about being a team member for Antioch Spring '10 while I was there but I was unsure about the decision. It wasn't until I got back to school and a certain message that was sent to me that made me realize I really want to be a part of it. It was a simple message thanking me for being MYSELF during the weekend! How often do you get that from someone you JUST met?!

But that's not it! I apparently motivated this person to be less shy and have no shame in being yourself. I mean that is HUGE!!! It makes a person think for a second...about the things in your life and how you can help people by just being...YOU! My views on things have slightly changed and I do not regret going to this retreat at all. It might take a while to adapt but I know who to go to for help. He's just right around the corner! ^_^

I want to write more about the happenings in my life but that will have to wait because I have to go to "Spoon River Anthology" right now!

Meryll ^_^ V

Baby steps

Today was somewhat of a good day! I saw a sign of improvement with a change I made school-wise! I studied my butt off this week and it paid off.

I wish my exams next week are like that because i really need the grade.....but I have to go to my Antioch retreat tomorrow til Sunday night. I'm going to pray that I am not too tired on Sunday to study for all the exams....either that or I will not be sleeping for a couple of days. God help me, please! *sigh*

My meeting with my professor was scary to think about but it went better than I expected. She helped me with studying strategies and whatnot. So I have to follow those and promise her a better turn out on exams. I mentioned to her that I was having a hard time getting used to this culture shock and she assured me it will be better. She said the first semester is always the hardest for transfer students and that everyone at Clarke will help me get through it. I love that! I kinda feel confident now....baby steps...little baby steps.

I'm glad I chose (hmm is that spelled right? lol) to stay in and watch 17 Again tonight with Erin. Thank you!!! So proud of her...she stayed up waaaay past her bedtime just to chill with me. I wish Gina was here though. I will be spending the whole weekend with her though (YAY!) but will miss Erin dearly (BOO!). It will pass by quickly! I just know it!!!

I know I have mixed feelings about Antioch. I mean I'm complaining that I have so much stuff to do but at the same time I can't wait! I guess you can say that I've experienced something like this before and I'm desperately wanting that 'feeling' back. I hope it'll be a good experience. I love people and I can't wait to meet new ones tomorrow! Yay! Speaking of that...I guess I should head out now.

I will not have any connection to the outside world from 830 am tomorrow until 8 pm Sunday night! Meaning no: cellphones, laptops, ipods, watches, and so on! So leave me plenty of messages, texts, and whatnot please!!! I'll miss you guys!!!

Good night & God bless!

Meryll ^_^

Army Health Care

When I want to get mail, I never get them. When I check my mailbox at random moments, I get mail. WHy is that? lol.

Anyway, I received one today from the Army Health Care Recruitment Team. And with the way things are working out for me school wise right now, I can't help but think of joining. I feel as if it's my last resort kind of thing. I mean there's no basic training other than OB/GYN, Psych, and so on. Right now, like this very minute, it sounds good in my head, but I know that it won't later on. What do you think? Quit this and join the Army? Or just finish what I've already started... =(

You wanna know why I think it's not a good thing? Because I will be telling myself that I started going to this school and I'm all of a sudden not finishing it. It's similar to quitting in my book, don't you think? I am so unsure with my life at this point and it upsets me to the point where I'm so lost. Sigh. I'm meeting with one of my professors on Friday and then I will be meeting with my advisor soon enough. I hope they can help me with what I'm going through right now.

To be honest, I am a complete wreck right now. The little things that make me happy...well I don't even know anymore. I won the women tennis intramural and received a free t-shirt for it plus my picture online yet I'm not satisfied with my achievement. If only I can do better with other things in my life.

I know He's got a plan for me up there. I need patience and wait for it but it's just killing me. I've never been so confused....kind of. I hope I figure it out sooner than later. I think it's time to visit the chapel and have a chat.

Ok it's time for dinner then non-stop studying til Friday!

Meryll ^_^

Noob with Blogger!

So I just found out about this site even though I've had a google account for the longest time. I've decided to give it a try....

UPDATE:

I came back from the homecoming dance and I saw my goldfish, Josep McFly, floating in his bowl! It was a sad experience. I had to flush him down the toilet. Now I look at my bowl without even knowing as if I was checking on him....but he's not there anymore. How sad!

My sister texted me today and said her goldfish died when she got back from school. Hers lasted longer than mine. She won hers at On The Waterfront a MONTH ago! Also...some of the girls on the floor also had dead goldlfishies! What is going on?!?

I do plan on getting a new fish after this week when my life isn't as hectic anymore. I'm basically trying to get things done within this week so I don't have to worry about anything this weekend because of the ANTIOCH retreat! I'm excited for this retreat but worried about all the exams I have the following week.

This Friday-Quiz in A&P

Monday-exam 3 in Pharmacology

Tuesday-muscle lab exam in A&P1

Friday-Another quiz in A&P

May God help me through these ALIVE and with good grades!

Another long day tomorrow but it's a Wednesday so it's an even trade I guess.

11-1150:A&P

12-1230:Lunch

1-215:Pharmacology

3-415:Literature

530-6:Dinner

6-8:A&P Lab

Then Homework & Studying! WAaah!

Again, may God me through it!

On a different note, something about my short conversation with Gina got me thinking and reminded me of this note my cousin emailed to me during the summer. I believe that it's a powerful message.

"In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act – the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: either you are in one now, or you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in God's likeness.

Life can be hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. Rather than life being hills and valleys, it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness. But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others. You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)? God didn't put us on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what we are than what we do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings".

Happy moments, praise God. Difficult moments, seek God. Quiet moments, worship God. Painful moments, trust God. Every moment, THANK GOD."

It just gets you thinking sometimes, you know? When I read this, I feel a little weight off my shoulders and it makes me want to be different in some way. It's a nice feeling actually. Kind of like what the last mass I went to this weekend. I really like Loras mass. Not that there's anything wrong with the one here at Clarke, of course. Loras masses reminds me of my parish back home plus the 8 p.m. mass is a more convenient time.

Haha my mom just called and was worried why I haven't called home the past two days. My bad, mama! I've been pretty occupied I guess. Ok I think it's time for bed though....

It is time for change in my routine this semester. I'm slowly making them and pray that they go accordingly. Please pray for me as well!

Goodnight everyone! ^_^

HAPPY HOMECOMING!!!

***Transferred from Tumblr.com on September 27, 2009 @ 3:23pm***

It's been a very interesting week...I stopped blogging for a coupe of days so I can study...but it was all for nothing. *Sigh*

Anyway, here was the rest of the week:

Thurday- study day for the most part. I tried to get as much reading in as possible before the long awaited episode of Grey's Anatomy!!! Didn't work out lol. Watched it in my room with Gina, Erin, and Kayla. George O'Malley is gone!!!! Waaahhhh!!! It was a pretty intense time with Gina hahaha! Our floor probably thinks we're freaks lol.

Friday- A&P exam...blah! =(. Went to the mall to buy some last minute accessories for the homecoming dance. Didn't really wanna pay that much so I bought some cheap jewelry hehehe.

I went back to campus and ran about a mile on the school track course. I needed to get some stress and frustration out so it was a nice activity for me. Afterwards, I asked a bunch of girls on my floor, including Erin and Kayla, which dress I should wear. Majority of them picked the same one...which you'll see soon! Must I say, Erin is a funny gal! "I didn't know you lived by...." Lmao!

And for the main event of the night, 'The Proposal' movie in our gym! Love the movie! Love the people I watched it with! Majority of our school was there! Free popcorn & drink! Fun fun fun!

To finish the night, went to Julian's (sp?) with Gina so she can meet up with her Loras alumni friends! I left pretty early and chilled in the Mary Ben lounge with Zach and Pam along with random people walking by. As I've mentioned to Gina, some people are just inconsiderate of their actions and words....which makes us glad we have our little Erin hahah.

Saturday-HOMECOMING DAY!!!

Pretty much slept in til 11:30am then went to the Tent Party around 1pm! Soccer boys and gals won! Woot woot! CREATE table was a blast! Free ice cream! Cookie Dough all the way!!! Was scheduled to tour alumni around Mary Ben but no one showed up...disappointed! I returned to the tent party and had MORE ice cream heheh. Then got on the tall inflatables with Tina! Only to end up having skinned elbows! OUCH! Burned like a "mofo!" Watched the rest of the boys' soccer game then took a nap!

Dinner @ Olive Garden! We had an amazing waitress! And yummy food! I'm so glad I came hungry or else all that food would've gone to waste! Man I have pictures of our awesome group!

Then DANCE!!!! It was a great outcome! I have been in the dancing mood for the longest time& you better believe it when I say "I went all OUT!" I loved the whole dance! And crazy people on the dance floor! I LOOOVE IT!

Now I'm in my room ready for bed! I will be sleeping in til 11ish then getting me some brunch! This day will be dedicated to homework, talk time with Erin & Gina, and a tennis match with Jess S.!

Sorry for the informal writing tonight guys! I am just exhausted and I had A LOT to say! If you read the whole thing, I appreciate it! Thanks a bunches of oats! =)

Lastly, HAPPY HOMECOMING EVERYONE!